She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
