come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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