Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
