hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
