Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
