found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
