She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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