On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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