he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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