They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
