? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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