using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
