How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
