apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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