I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
