I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
