We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
