Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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