do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
