So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
