Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
