Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
