she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
