so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
