I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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