Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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