i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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