Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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