So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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