haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
