used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He kissed a someone with a penis
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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