Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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