im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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