Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
