Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
