before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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