I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
