I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
