We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
