i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
do nipples grow back?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
