Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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