Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
