She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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