We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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