so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize