Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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