I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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