Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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