Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
