i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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