is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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