How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
