best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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