i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
