i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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